There is just so much anger inside of me. So much that I want to yell about. However, the person I want to yell at isn’t next to me anymore. Perhaps that’s where the anger is stemming from.
You know those situations in life, where you’re unwillingly thrown into a ‘competition’? And then the person you’re vying for ends up choosing the other person?
I have to say, it’s not a very enjoyable sensation. I’ve never been ‘not chosen’ in a situation like this. It is highly unpleasant, and now I am losing my mind.
What is the solution however?
For me, writing cuts the bill. I have come to realize that I write the best under stressful situations, for example now. I am however, tired of writing depressing proses and those breakup-stories. Like, who cares? That fucker made his choice. Maybe I should make mine now, instead of slipping into the abyss, at the edge of which I’m dangling on.
I am keeping myself as busy as possible, but social networking is turning into my biggest demon. Do you know how easy it is to just click a person’s name and find everything and anything about them? As much as you try to use fancy options like ‘Block’, you will still see that person everywhere. It is disturbing. Know that feeling when a person has caused you so much pain, but you can’t even hate him with all your heart? I love him too much.
I wish I could just move on. I wish I didn’t care about him. I wish I could kill that other girl.
So many issues. And I’m only 18.