We were kissing
lips interlocked with lips
breath mingling with breath
but I didn’t feel a thing.
It was like someone else was kissing him
and I was a mere bystander
watching from afar
like a shadow.
I felt his skin brush against mine
his hands on my waist, in my hair, in my shirt
but my heart didn’t register a thing.
Until a few months back, I’d kill for a kiss like this
until a few months back
we kissed like it was a ritual.
A ritual before we fell asleep while watching television
glad that another day was over
another day of pretense
another day of wondering
‘who was going to crack first?’